Dearest Diary
by theplaywrite
Summary: Carly talks, but she rarely says what is truly on her mind. Now she is writing it all down. However, the more she writes, the more her life changes. [Rating may go up later. Please Read & Review!]
1. First Entry

First Entry

Location: Stuck in Hospital :(

Time: 7:32pm

Dear Diary,

Its has been a long month. I have been in the hospital because of a freak accident that I don't even remember. The doctors think it might be some sort of impact, judging by my injuries. I hate that I can't remember what really happened. It is also hard for me to understand what the doctors are telling me what truly happened to my body. I never understood medical talk. Whatever the accident was, it injured my spine, but with a bit more therapy, I should be alright in the long run. I never thought laying in a bed all day with a tv in front of you and being served food would get so bad.

I get to leave tomorrow. I get to go home. No, I get to go back a small, rented apartment. Back to my average life. Back to a drawn out life if you ask me. Unfortunately, I also have to go back to work. Don't get me wrong, I love sharing stories and writing, but my boss has pushed my past the breaking point and I can't deal with all this senseless competition for the juiciest stories. Don't even get me started with Angelica. If you ask me, I think she gets her stories by showing too much to the right people. So done with her. I had a little idea one day that I could start writing books, based off of ideas or true events. It's a long shot in the dark, but anything is better than what I'm stuck in now.

All I want to do right now, is just lay in my own bed for one night. Get to eat the food that I choose. All on my own time. Some friends that I have made here, at the extended care unit, are not so lucky. Geiger, one of the duelist from the Fortune Cup, was attacked a little while back and had to recover, both physically and mentally, at Neo Domino's hospital. All he ever talked about was getting healthy enough to fly back to his brother and sister in his home village. He had to stay here to recover though because his village's medical center is not equipped to help him finish his treatment. Misty was also here for some illness that made her every weak. But she left early on to be in a hospital closer to her parents home out of the city. We still call each other at the least once a week and she says I can go with her to one of her many parties as soon as I get my strength back.

And then there was Kalin, a new friend of mine, even though he only considers us as acquaintances. He was sent to the hospital with serious malnutrition and physically injuries he says were caused by abuse from officers when he was stuck in the Facility as a kid. Kalin has to stay for a bit longer because the doctors feel they have to keep an eye on his mental status as well. They brought in a physiologist a few times for him. He hates people like them and never cooperates. Kalin says that he messed up his life when he tried to get revenge on an old friend because that friend supposedly betrayed him. He seemed suicidal and depressed when I first met him, but now he has seen that he can start over and do something more with his life. I still worry about him though.

Jack visited a few times and so did his assistant Mina. He says that he is going to lay low a while with some old friends until the whole 'the king as fallen' thing settles down. Then, he's going to shoot his way back up to the top, where he belongs. I haven't heard from him in a week or two. I understand if he's busy. I just wish I could spent a bit more time with him, that is all.

It is no secret that I have a crush on Jack. A crush yes, but I am in love with him? I don't know. Honestly, I don't even really know what love feels like yet. I wonder if he has feelings for me at all. I know Jack doesn't talk about that sort of stuff. What if he's only doing this to be nice? Am I a charity case? I helped him, so is he helping me until his 'debut' is paid off? Does he only care when I'm in danger and when I am safe he doesn't give a? Throw me to the side when he's done 'saving' me, like what Kalin's 'friends' did to him.

Enough.

I don't know what I am going to do when I get out tomorrow. I don't want to go back to work. I promised Kalin and Greiger I would visit them when I got any free time, which might be a bit too often. If you ask me, those two need girlfriends or something. Maybe I can quit my old job and get a small, temporary one to pay the bills while I work on my new book. A waitress or cashier or something like that. I already have the idea for a storyline. A lonely towns girl saves a prince from being assassinated and helps build back his pride to become king. Maybe even make her queen. Gee, I wonder how I came up with that?

But before I do any of that, I need a new pair of glasses.

~C. Carmine

[Health Update] Carly Carmine

X-rays: All bones have healed

Blood Test: Type A, Normal

Mental Status: Amnesia (no recollection of accident, thought to be form of impact)

Therapy: Once a week to retain mobility

Prescription(s): Painkillers

Follow-Ups: Aprox. one to two weeks

Signature: Dr. W. Regal

Appointed Nurse: Q. Johnson


	2. Second Entry

Second Entry

Location: Apartment

Time: 10:03pm

Dear Diary,

I've been home from the hospital for a few days now and everything has changed. I want back to my boss' office the first day and immediately, I was hit with complaints and stupid tasks to do. Just the look on his face got me so mad. He didn't even ask how I was feeling or noticed that even moving was painful for me to do. I knew that I did not want to work like that any more, so I quite. Well, I gave a short speech about how I was an abused, unappreciated worker and then knocked something over. I could hear him yelling as I walked out of the building. So now I'm unemployed with money running out. I've looked around for jobs at restaurants and small shops, but none were hiring or I didn't have the skills to preform the job anyway. If things keep up this way, I'm going to be living out of my car full-time. I plan to cut back to things like food and cable. But the one thing I will never in this world do is go back to that place I used to call a job and beg to be rehired. I'd rather live in Satellite then do that.

On a happier note, when I went back to the hospital to pick up the rest of my medications, Greiger was there and he told me that he was getting to go back to his village soon. He seemed so excited to be able to finally see his brother and sister again. I wished him luck. We made a pack to keep in touch, which was really nice. Normally with me, friends come and go. I don't mind it too much. I'm not always lonely and I always meet fresh faces. Sometimes I wish I could, however, have that life-long friend that has always been there. Of course, whenever I really get attached to someone, it will all fall apart. Like with Jack.

I miss him. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. He is still so handsome and wonderful, even with his personality flaws. But he belongs in stars, while I belong with the normal people. Sometimes, I wish he would find me on the street, sweep me off my feet and carry me away to his world. He could be very romantic if he just breaks open that hard shell of his. He could help so many people. Why am I still thinking about him? He's like that high school crush you have one class with and never talk to, but you fantasize so much about them. Or that one television character who you know isn't real, but can't help wait for. Maybe if I actually start doing something with my life, I'll forget about Jack Atlas. Why couldn't I have forgotten about him instead of my accident?

Grieger also told me that Kalin was going to be cleared to leave the hospital in a few days. I'm not sure where he lives or if anyone is coming to get him. If not, I guess I can help him out a bit. I could take him out on the town to make him feel better...like I did with Jack. No! Kalin is a friend. I don't have I crush on him like I did with Jack. Even if he is handsome too. Kalin has that edge not many people have, but I'm sure he can be sweet too. I feel bad for him after hearing about what he went through as a kid and with his friends. He hasn't told me much, but I get the idea. He still is a good person, even if he did do some bad things in his past. Kalin was lost. A lot of people get that way, he just took it to a different level. He'll get things together. I'm sure of it.

As for that book I planned on writing, the whole storyline I mentioned earlier is out. I realized I want to write about events, why people do things and what's going on in their minds. I guess you could say I want to interview people about a certain topic or event and write about what they think. And no I'm not a psychologist, even if that was my backup major after high school. Journalism is still better in my opinion. My life is totally confusing right now. I don't know what I want to do, who I want to be with or what I'm even doing tomorrow. I could do almost anything, so what's stopping. I'm glad I got this diary. Without it, all this blabbing I'm doing would stay in my head and drive me insane.

I guess I should get some rest to continue my job hunt tomorrow. Maybe I could go visit Kalin before he leaves. He seems to get my mind off Jack and everything else that's going on.

~C. Carmine


End file.
